It is time to mark a moment in history.

The world has reacted together to a new virus: COVID-19.  A pandemic has been proclaimed.  We have seen reactions from a total shut down of countries or cities for months at a time.  Economies are collapsing. People are dying.  Protests are happening. Information conflicts.  Leaders clash. People demand action with guns on their hips.  Online business thrives.  Small business has lost.  It has become a world changed.  We all question what changes will remain and for how long.

We as good citizens don't know which way to turn.  The sources of information lead us all in opposite directions.

As a photographer, I walk a fine line.  How much doom and gloom do I add to the story?  There are those in the midst of the drama, documenting the struggles of families that the virus has touched, and the newly named "Essential Workers" trying to keep the world supplied and healthy.  While I enjoy street photography, I'm not in a position to capture the thick of those personal stories.

What I can do, is provide a bit of creative interpretation of what I have noticed of our every day public life.

Honoring Arizona's stay at home orders has not required us to fully quarantine.  We have been encouraged to employ common sense, and to get outside as part of our Stay Healthy, Stay Connected initiatives.  For my part, this mostly includes walks around my area.  What has struck me most, is the difference in approach between our online lives and the real world.

I admit to a ridiculous amount of claustrophobia when it comes to things covering my mouth and nose.  A mask was not, nor will ever be, an option for me.  Keeping 6 feet away from those I encounter? Perfectly doable.  I live alone, so would not be risking bringing anything home, and am thankfully the polar opposite of a germophobe. 

Reactions have been intriguing.  Almost as a whole, the very visible disdain of my choice was obvious.  People walk in the middle of the street rather than have to pass me, even with the allowable 6 feet possible between us.

What interests me more, is the refusal to make eye contact.  Online we have been #inthistogether.  We connect personally more than we have in many years.  Phone and video calls are made frequently.  People are checking on neighbors.  We have become a virtual world wide community. 

This has not been true of those in public, in real life.  It seems like there is almost a fear that eye contact is how the virus could be passed.  There are no "Good Mornings"; no head nods; no smiles.  There are only those who seem forced to be near to others, and will do anything they can to ignore those around them.  In the past, this approach has been reserved for the homeless primarily.  It is now freely used on everyone.  Fear.  So much fear.

This fear is understandable.  The media reads every story at a level of hysteria, regardless of which side of opinion is speaking.  Is this just a virus?  Is it a political hoax? Is it really as deadly as some cities showed? Are we making a mistake reopening the economy too soon? Has the curve truly flattened? It is anyone's guess.

It is this fear, and the fact photography services were not classified as essential services, that led me to play the model as well as photographer and creator.  What I could do is try to make the emotion and story visible.

The images below contain imagery relating to the deluge of information and fear; the need to protect those we love; the recognition of those we've lost; the struggle to remain healthy; the inability to face each other in person, or trust our sources of information entirely.  They don't seek to offer solutions, but hopefully relate to many unexpressed emotions.  You'll want to note the one with fabric draped over my face.  This lasted the length of a shutter click, and should play largely into the symbology of fear for this image.  It is actually hard to look at for me, knowing I can't pull it from my face, even though it is simply a photo.

Maybe at some point in the future, I'll collect and share the images of the moments I surreptitiously captured on my walks.  Until then, we'll continue to recognize it is not just our blood being tested, but each individual, and our collective societies as well.